Why Isn't He Listening?!?!?!

            I chose to write my blog on the Directed Freewrite on page 246. The article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen was amazing!!! I have been married for four month, but before that we had been dating for three years. I noticed myself agreeing to everything she was talking about. The fact that men don’t like to talk, unless in public, and that men tend to look at something else while having a conversation are all true. All of these things would drive me NUTS!!!! I would try to talk to my husband and he would look away from me, and I thought he wasn’t listening. After reading this essay though, I have a new understanding as to why men do what they do during conversations (Tannen 243).

            There is one topic that my husband and I can NEVER agree on, and that is that age old question: “What’s for dinner?” I HATE asking this question because the response I always get is “I don’t know, what are you in the mood for?” I feel like I never get a straight up answer. He tends to brush it off if I don’t answer back immediately, and then he is back to his computer. Every once in a while he will try to strike up the topic again and ask if I’ve decided on anything, and this can usually lead to an argument. Most of the time I eventually cave in a just decide what’s for dinner and he usually goes along with it. If he doesn’t, I tell him he should have decided before I did. This doesn’t play out too well.

            After reading this essay I can see that our conflict is pretty normal. When I ask him something and he replies with a quick answer and then jumps onto the computer, it doesn’t mean he isn’t listening but it’s what guys do. He may still be listening to me and I get upset over nothing. He also doesn’t talk a lot because he doesn’t have anything to prove, and feels comfortable with me deciding. Both of these things I don’t think I would have learned without reading this essay. This essay really helped put into perspective why a guy acts a certain way during conversations. Now when I ask him what is for dinner and he responds with a short answer, I can tell him to stop being such a guy!!!!!